How Lip Injections Made Me Love My Natural Pout

I’ve always liked the way I look in general, but like everyone, there are things that I would enhance or change. My hair has never been my favorite asset, which is why I wear extensions to get the looks I want. In high school, I used to have a complex about the gap in my teeth and tried not to smile in pictures. Self-love is a tricky thing, and sometimes we try to fix our “flaws,” so before you try yourself, here’s the story of how I got lip injections and immediately regretted it.

Once upon a time in 2013, I was at the dermatologist office and found myself asking questions about lip injections. “Would I be prettier if I had a more voluminous pout?” My lipstick would look better, and that would compliment my entire face, right? Years went by and I continued to feel like that but didn’t do anything about it. — Until one day last year, I went full-throttle – literally. It was one of those things that if I wanted to do it, I should just do it. The doctor said she could do it right then and since I had already done my research, I went for it. So I did what most of us do: I did a little impulse shopping.

Needless to say, the experience itself was not pleasant, and yes, it’s painful, uncomfortable and makes you doubt whether this is a good idea. My lips puffed up instantly, they were red, sore and lumpy – not a cute look. After the 15-minute ordeal, I walked to my car as fast as possible and imagined this is what Edward Scissorhands must have felt like after Winona brought him down to live in the suburbs.

The prognosis was that in two weeks I would look great. As soon as the swelling went down I would be the proud temporary owner of a puffier pout. Well, I’m here to tell you, the expectation isn’t always reality. Whenever I looked in a mirror I felt strange, I looked like me, but at the same time, I didn’t. I watched as people stared at my mouth without mentioning the pink elephant on my face. The experience was beginning to get socially awkward. I went from one side of the spectrum to the next when I realized that this form of self-mutilation had only enhanced new insecurities and unnecessary social encounters. I was now completely self-conscious about my lips, but because they made me look and feel weird, not because they were thin.

The procedure is said to last between four and six months, I was able to enjoy the benefits for only two weeks. I didn’t want freak show Kylie lips, I simply wanted a tiny plump – the process to get to this small change is pretty excruciating and short-lived. Before I knew it, I was completely deflated but not before some of the filler leaked and started traveling past my upper lip like two out-of-control forehead veins. True story. This side-effect went away when I reversed the effects of the filler by getting even more injections, it was not fun.

Will I ever reconsider plumping up again? Never say never – if there’s a different method that doesn’t produce such an alarming process, I may consider it. I’m not knocking this procedure, it’s just that at the time it wasn’t for me, maybe my doctor wasn’t the best, maybe I didn’t take well to it or I didn’t give it a chance, but what I know is that I love my lips now more than ever.

I may not have the best hair or be as tall as I’d like, and sure I don’t have too much real estate to smear my matte red, – but they make clip-ins that work great, and I can rock 7-inch heels without looking out of place. Choosing to look at the positives over the negatives is still a road that I need to continue traveling, but at least I’m on it and I’m looking and feeling like me. I know me. And I like me.

If you’re thinking about getting your lips enhanced, go for it! I’m not going to tell you not to, in fact, here are some articles that will help you understand the process and what you’ll need to prepare for.

Refinery29

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Lip Injections

Glamour

9 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Getting Lip Injections

Good Housekeeping

I Got Lip Injections and Love Them – Here’s What I Learned

Cosmopolitan

20 Things You Should Know Before Getting Lip Injections

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